All

Your sainted mother said to stay away from us
That she looked down on us is no surprise
Your father couldn't spend a day away from us
I still recall the hunger in his eyes

Donna

Your doctor and your dentist suggest that you
Ignore us

Paula

They abhor us

Genna

So they tell you slanderous lies

All

But don't listen to them
Listen to us

Genna

I'm sweets

Donna

I'm fats

Paula

I'm fries

All three

Say so long to self control

Paula

We've a need to feed your soul

Genna

How could we possibly hurt you

All three

We're in every snack and dessert you have had
Honest, sugar

Paula

We're too good to be bad
We're so lonesome on the shelf

Donna

Take us down,
Indulge yourself

All three

We'd like to show you our favors

Paula

And more than a few of the flavors you crave

Genna

Face it, pork rind-

All

You're too weal to behave

All three

Let your appetite run riot

Donna

You know you want us--don't deny it

All three

It's up to you to do or diet

Paula

And everything is better when you deep fat fry it
Life with us is short and sweet

All three

(we're) worth our weight in cellulite

Donna

Health food's for neurotics

Jenna

And macrobiotic's a fad

All three

The fda requires us to state this warning
The odds are great that you will hate yourself
In the morning

Paula

But eat your heart out

All three

We're too good to be bad